M.A. not M.I.

My oh my I was in world of M.I.
mental illness was what they sang
I had I was

I met others who it seemed had
the same defect and everyone sang
mi, mi, mi

looking for a solution to themselves,
these faulty objects, Maya, the
world

of physical appearance. I studied 
Buddhism, rediscovered “Ah”.
Aha?

Can anyone ever truly discover
sanity cleanly
or only rediscover?
You
me
yourself
yourselves
your cells
their mitochondria
not inherently selfish
not defective
curious    
certain
syllable
MA, MA, MA 

OM MA
NI PAD
ME HUM
OM MA!

but chanting alone
is not alive
alone is not alive
meditating alone or alone only is not 
the ultimate reality
we are interdependent
M.I. is interdependent
healing is interdependent

and so
I no longer believe that mis-
taken thinking when I was 
taken for a ride of mis-
diagnosis, impartial
and independent it
only seemed
like the one truth
and trapped
me and my voice
and my song
in loneliness,
it, and think I was
the it
they said
I surrendered
to think of it/they
not I/thou
of it and them
and no higher power 
and no real self just it
took, and it
took, and it
mistook

I no longer believe in their mistakes


Instead, through
Misdiagnosed Anonymous
and building, and building
trust back
in truth
and my real self
I am given a second chance
I am given my life back

I may forgive, because I am forgiving and believe in forgiveness
and I may deny, because I have a healthy mind that can deny what is not true
but I will deny reality, or the reality of what happened, or my story

I don’t forgive beyond facts, because not even my higher power tries to destroy facts
facts are facts
I was misdiagnosed 

and what a hopeless situation
(so hopeless even those who cared about me tried to make it not exist by making me deny its existence, as if mentioning the truth of it was somehow against our unspoken religion, "just don't say misdiagnosed, just don't use that word")
until I found M.A.
and others in the same situation
and how much we can more we can profit
how much more we can profit together in M.A. than we can alone
how much more we can profit than the billions in dollars made at our expense
how much more we can profit when we accept the good future our lives can be, when we accept we are each our own prophet in our own ways, when we accept there is nothing pragmatic about shunning our connections to our higher power, our real self, our capacity to hold our own thoughts as they are and to heal

more and more money might be a strategy some employ for their fear and entertainment
but how much more we can profit we stay with the whole truth, which includes the fact of my misdiagnosis, and yours, and yours, and yours

For the sake of giving and forgiveness too, I don’t accept anymore the convenient narrative of the biochemical model of M.I. 

For the sake of the possibility of having moral thoughts, for possibility of leading a moral life

Thank you M.A.