We are used to understanding peer pressure as a positive pressure, that is to say, a natural pressure toward behaving like and in solidarity with those with whom we identify.
But in the trauma of misdiagnosis, we have been programmed to avoid those who suffer like ourselves. Such programming is overall deeply deleterious to our relational health. Whether it comes through messages absorbed in the media, from our families, or messages we receive in ostensibly or superficially therapeutic contexts, we are programmed to believe that we should be avoided either because we are dangerous or incompetent, and therefore those who are in our same situation should also be avoided.
Part of identifying as a misdiagnosed person and as a member of Misdiagnosed Anonymous is fighting this negative peer pressure.
There is subtle difference and learning that goes on where we are not necessarily compelled to support or seek support from or relate with a person whom we perceive to be particularly insane or unhealthy, untrustworthy or strange, emotional or unacceptably toxic.
Instead, through encountering others stories, thoughts, experiences, and strength at MA meetings, we inevitably see the sanity and health, the stability and familiarity, the rationality and acceptable romance of our peers.
What we share in MA meetings stays in MA meetings, with strict confidence and respect for our fellow members. That said, we do draw considerably from MA meetings in our human journeys. The trauma of misdiagnosis we believe is largely a form of relational trauma, and it is only through recognizing self in others, through moving from “It” to “Thou” in the words of mystic Martin Buber, can such trauma truly be healed.
While much might be gained for a misdiagnosed person in engaging with a hobby group, or engaging with work colleagues, or engaging with a spouse or romantic partner, or engaging with a therapist, we believe there is a world of difference when engagement is more equal and to a greater extent reciprocal.
An example could be an adopted child having been made to feel themselves to be “different” their whole life, finally meeting their family of their birth.
As misdiagnosed persons, we are inclined to view that there is no particular similarity in our DNA, and neither would brain scans reveal many similarities except perhaps toxic stress around the subject of our misdiagnosis. We are diverse in many ways.
But we are all humans who have undergone the same traumatic experience of misdiagnosis in the same society. We may not share genes, but we may share lessons. We may not always be on the same wavelength, and our brainwaves might not be perfectly entrained with one another, and we may have differing views on religion, politics, food, entertainment, money, or even the best way to practice the Twelve Steps themselves. But we are united as peers who very much have been misdiagnosed, and by our moral choice to live with this truth.
Misdiagnosed Anonymous 