Tag: misdiagnosed identity

  • Is The Unconscious Real?

    Is The Unconscious Real?

    I just recently finished watching this video from the Institute of Art and Ideas. If you’re interested in intellectual conversations, it could be up your alley.

    Sneaky technical secret for watching if you want to watch the full video:

    When I watched on my phone, there wasn’t a subscription paywall, but there is one on my computer? If you hit a subscription paywall, and don’t want to subscribe (thought I’m thinking of this myself) then consider watching on your phone


    I really enjoyed it! At the end of the discussion Barbara Tversky remarks how beneficial it would be if there was a Buddhist also on the panel. So more intellectual diversity would be a plus. But I still think there was enough diversity of opinion and backgrounds for a lively and illuminating discussion.

    This is my first review for an iai.tv video, but I’ve been peeking at a few of them. They remind me of the promise of ted talks, but with a much more public interest than private interest focus.

    Freud is someone I read and regret admiring when I was a teenager, and a college student. I had an influential (British, so his words were minted into my brain perhaps in a weirdly more proper way than otherwise) college teacher who was extremely into Freud, regarding him as, alongside Marx, one of the top two modern “thinkers” to ever have existed. I’ve since read Freud: The Making of An Illusion by Frederick Crews, which is an incredibly damaging biography, though most Freudians don’t seem willing to address its accuracy / facticity and their defenses all seem a bit desperate and gross once you’ve read it. Thinking of his patients’ perspectives, especially Fritz and Eckstein even though Dora is the questionable case history most psychoanalysts will want to discuss, makes it clear in my opinion you should be glad not to have been a patient of Freud’s. I find it unfortunate that Freud so deeply attached his name to the concept of psychoanalysis, as there are psychoanalysts such as Josh Cohen on this panel who I find to be intelligent in their views — many of them contrary to Freud’s.

    Eduard Harcourt’s cogent speaking on the subject reminds me that Wittgenstein continues to be a thinker whose work it might interest me to read more or study in depth. Though, what might be called a well-documented verbal abusiveness in his personality (at least as a school teacher) suggests that perhaps none of these twentieth century Great Men were the gods they may been in icon hungry imaginations. (Or is it that men who’ve tried to mean a lot about meaning often end up a bit mean?)

    Overall, though it feels funny saying about a video less than a hour in length, I feel liberated.

    As a misdiagnosed person, maybe I’ve been trying rather hard in the background to develop a “correct” view of what “the unconscious” is and whether or not it really exists. Maybe I’ve wanted to shout at certain “providers” some of the observations elegantly observed by the speakers on the stage, or even those declared “self-evident”. What toll does it take on a soul to have those purporting to help them with their psychological processing routinely deny that which is self-evident? And then to have your concept of self brought into question, with all its insufficiency resting solely on you?

    Seeing how the speakers handle each other’s discourses, it feels in a way inspiring, and in a way that might be more of an embodied kind of inspiration than what I would feel if I read them discussing these views through text. The civility and the curiosity, the alighted expressions, the kindness and humility. While this is a subject I’ve thought about before, and read about, and talked with therapists about, I found watching this video didn’t exactly grind away my misconceptions as much as increase my confidence in the subject area — and that confidence includes knowing how even top experts recognize its intangible nature.

  • Why Misdiagnosed Deserves To Exist as an Identity

    Why Misdiagnosed Deserves To Exist as an Identity

    There are so many (unconvincing for misdiagnosed persons) reasons why it should not exist.

    • If you say “misdiagnosed” someone might assume you’re asking for seconds, for another (more severe?) diagnosis
    • The path of healing and recovery is about forgiveness. By claiming to have been misdiagnosed, it’s almost as if you haven’t chosen to forgive your doctors, or our mental health system, or the system of capitalism from which it arises
    • It is four whole syllables long, what a mouthful!
    • It reminds people of mental patients who shout: “I was MISDIAGNOSED” as if their lives and needs for integrity almost depended on someone accepting this
    • It’s a threat to the ordered (and apparently rather fragile) world of Capital Psychiatry and the (B?)DSM, and the powers that be shall not have it!
    • If you say “misdiagnosed” an evil leprechaun in a grey pinstripe suit will come and, gosh, we just… we just can’t have it!

    But then we are inevitably confronted with unchanging fact that leprechauns do not exist except in fables and stories, but the experiences and facts of your misdiagnosis did and do. It exists! So to have a word for it, a word besides “it” or “the bad thing that happened to me or with me or whatever” or “my past” or “my struggle” or “yeah that fucking nightmare huh”, to contain it in a single descriptive if not perfect word has immense value.

    No one goes around wanting to be misdiagnosed. And yet, severe and traumatic experiences of misdiagnosis do happen to a certain group of people. These people deserve an identity.

    Much ink has been spilled reclaiming various terms such as madness, and this extends to mad activism and mad pride. While reclaiming terms of hate have functioned well for identity politics in the area of sexual difference, the area mental health and mental difference operates with different dynamics. It isn’t necessarily wrong for a misdiagnosed person to attempt to reclaim madness, but it feels to us a spiritually onerous burden to suggest that they must retain deep anger at the system that misdiagnosis along with a stance of activism to merely be regarded as having an identity. When the system purveys the idea that misdiagnosed persons must be “one of the good mentally ill people” to then earn a facsimile of respect, demanding they must also be “one of the good mad activists” to be seen as truly intelligent, truly liberal, or truly engaged with reality only heightens the impossibility of their situation

    “Psychiatric survivor” and “ex-patient” are also words that are used to mean something roughly similar, and already exist as acceptable identities in certain circles — though none with active or regular peer support meetings as far as we can tell. “Psychiatric survivor” is seven syllables, three more than misdiagnosed. We have no beef with anyone who identifies as a psychiatric survivor. We also have not yet witnessed any sustaining efforts for there to be support groups for such individuals — though for all we know they could be on an island somewhere. Comparatively, “misdiagnosed” and “misdiagnosed person” suggest not that psychiatry is evil or that psychiatrists are evil (extreme or idiosyncratic views) but that a mistake was made. Can the world not allow that mistakes are occasionally made in a particular field of study? “Survivor” also implies that no talking or sitting should be in order, only escape. Contrastingly, with “Misdiagnosed” as an identity, we focus on our own lived experience, and leave room for analysis and careful thought, that those of us who feel called to engage as patients in therapy as we see fit.

    In reality, my identity as a misdiagnosed person does not pose any threat to psychiatry and neither would yours, should you choose to adopt one. In reality, honest feedback is a kind of support, even if harsh. The worst that could happen to psychiatry might be: we cause greater attention to mistakes that have been made and are made and better processes for more collaborative and accurate diagnosis processes. This is not to say we ignore power imbalances or are interested in vain compromise. Good intentions are not enough for change, commitment and strength are also needed. The misdiagnosed founders of NAMI may have started with good intentions, but in their compliance with Diagnosis Theory, it was perhaps inevitable that they accepted pharmaceutical dollars, a corrupting influence and capitulation to the biochemical model that renders their claims of activism vacuous and their culture toxic. Mad activists calling for revolution are not necessarily foolish in their calls.

    We as allied misdiagnosed persons hope to cause a revolution in the sense of how psychiatry looks at the biochemical model of mental illness that has been prevalent if not wildly addictive for the past forty years since at least Osheroff V Chestnut. Once more accurate information comes to light, psychiatry and psychiatrists may choose of their volition, in the language of step four, of The Twelve Steps “make a searching and fearless moral inventory” of themselves. We concede ahead of time that this might seem preposterous to psychiatry’s more committed detractors. But it is our belief that anyone can let go of the harmful pattern of misdiagnosing others and themselves.

    I am a misdiagnosed person is a way of saying:

    • Facts and information and learning (including even book learning sometimes!) are important to me, as is useful feedback
    • I have faith that the people who matter to me will understand that I am not insane (and maybe even never have been, though indeed, that is an insanely high bar )
    • I am an honest person but struggled in the past with the concept of healthy denial
    • I deserve to exist as a person in this world, despite all of my relational and psychological trauma from my experiences of misdiagnosis telling me I do not
    • I do not necessarily agree with our mental health system of diagnosis, as they may (in the language of Nonviolent Communication on diagnosing others ) ultimately do more harm than good by creating conditions for tragic self-fulfilling prophecy